Right in the middle of this awesomeness resides a super important idea:
"...what it is that already resides in each one of us: Love. Compassion. Courage + Bravery." So, you're reading this on a good day, and thinking "hell yes, I'm ready to lean in, I got this!" Then there are the other days. Those days when listening to yourself means a lot of negative words and little to no compassion. None of these powerful words ring true; compassion, kindness, a vulnerability born of power, much less courage and bravery. Guess what? They are there. Even on the most challenging of days, there is a part of you that holds tightly to all those spectacularly big feelings; even if it's just one little cell that glows with your strength, it IS there. Nurture that tiny point of light as best you can. Choose to make space for that which you want to fill you, and to radiate out into the world. On the good days, feel all the ways you are alight, all the cells glowing with your awesomeness. Notice how the strength of all those cells feels truthful and whole. Then, when you need it, recall those powerful and resilient little cells ready and waiting to multiply. Pick friends who reflect that light, and remind you it's there. In this community, we will hold onto the knowledge of your strength until you remember it. Take a few moments to reflect, and pick a word - a word that feels right in this moment - that honors you and what you want to project into the world. I want to radiate courage. And I also want to sneak in some of the words which I think define courage. The courage to love (myself and others.) The courage to defy perfection. The courage to let go and take chances. The courage to mend. What do you want to radiate?
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We talked before about what makes a helper; there are so many actions one can take to effect change. What matters most is that we take the time to decide what our values are, what they look like in the everyday world, and then use whatever gifts or skills we are able to realize those goals. As the kind and loving souls I know this community to be, I am certain that we also understand that each action has a reaction, and should therefore be taken with respect for our fellow brothers and sisters. In turn, we must listen. Listen to those with whom you disagree. Listen to those whose voices have long been suppressed. Listen to your heart. Listen with compassion. Then, with open eyes, and informed empathy, act. Let us care for one another, and for our future. "Be kind, but be fierce."
Being a helper is not an innate skill. We become helpers when our hearts hear the call or see the struggle - when our soul recognizes another in need. Helpers take action. In a disaster, split-second decisions can define heroes. In a bigger picture, however, the greatest outcomes usually arise from identifying your gifts, embracing their worth, and then daring to use them for others. It never has to be perfect. It might be scary. It always matters. 'So many caring people in this world' - a great comfort, and also a call for action. Finding peace in quiet.
When we finally allow our bodies to rest, and stop actively pushing away our fears, doubts, and insecurities, the silence can be quickly overtaken by the negative. The truth comes to us in the silence. In the quiet moments, our mind tells us our truths, for better or worse, and often speaks in a frenzied and chaotic manner than can keep us awake, tossing and turning, and wishing for sleep! At times our truths are disguised, or completed obscured by a protective lie we tell ourselves. The nagging thoughts might be about a particular bill, a misspoken word in an important presentation, or making a hair appointment to cover my roots. But, what really underlies these seemingly small nagging thoughts. Might the mistake at work really be about feeling undervalued in your job? Could the all-important hair appointment really be using your external appearance to avoid sharing something more personal? If we can read between the lines of these nagging thoughts, and see the root of the chatter, the opportunity exists to finally transform that chaos from a list of to-do's into a look at our "big picture". When you can really see the root, you can acknowledge it's presence, and either take a few moments to really reflect on the issue at hand, or at the very least, tell your mind "I hear you". The act of acknowledging the root cause and promising to address it it not only a step towards real growth, but often the key to finding some peace in quiet. We tend to think that once everything is in order, we will have order and finally get some peace and quiet. The reality is that if we can find the peace in quiet, that will bring order. Good Bones, written by the incredibly talented Maggie Smith, speaks to and for so many who are struggling to find words. While speaking to her alumni magazine, Smith noted “This poem feels less like mine than any other poem I’ve written. It belongs to others. I live in this nest in Ohio and my poem is flying to people and places I will never see. It has a bigger job to do.” Wrapped in humility, Maggie reminds us that there is always a job to do. Our job, my lovelies, is to find the connections in others which comfort, embrace, and encourage us, but also-and maybe more importantly-to find the connections which challenge, unsettle, and grow us. Not only is this a necessity for community, but in it there is also immense possibility. If this journey towards healing from trauma has taught me anything, it has taught me that we must face what is uncomfortable to find our power, our truths, and our opportunities for tremendous growth. we must face what is uncomfortable to find our power, our truths, and our opportunities for tremendous growth. You can make this world beautiful by being you, and doing the hard work. We can make this world beautiful, together.
This morning, our country is divided by a chasm filled with confusion, sadness,
disappointment, anger, and fear. Half of our brothers and sisters feel a significant loss. My hope for this page is to keep a unified focus on the ways we are brought together. There are plenty of other platforms to express an opinion about particular candidates or political parties, so I am not going to do that here. With that in mind, I feel the need to say a few things: My heart hurts for the division from which our country will need to heal. My heart hurts for those who see this election as an endorsement of the notion that the value of a person varies based upon the color of their skin, the language they speak, or the people whom they love. Today, especially, I will focus on the light I see in others. My friends, in the wee hours of this day, I want to say one thing with absolute clarity: To my brothers and sisters who are immigrants, who wear hijab or carry the Quran, who are within the LGBTQ community, who are disabled, or any other one among us who felt the sting of hatred or distress when rights are threatened. I see you. WE see you. You are not alone on this day, and you are not forgotten. Love is a powerful tool, and it is a force that will help us stand together. Indeed, we belong to each other, and in the time to come we will find ways to heal. Love always survives, and in the darkness of this night I cannot tell you how, but somehow love will do more than just survive, love will thrive. October 10th each year is World Mental Health Day. Today, my lovelies, I would like to remind you that you are not alone. We are here together, and when struggling, there are those ready to comfort. Numerous professional resources are available all day, everyday. There are just a few of many listed on our Resources page. The hardest, and yet most simple act, is to reach out. When you are hurting, reach out. When someone else is hurting, reach out. Not one of us can do this messy, wonderful thing called life alone. Nor, do we have to. We truly do belong to one another - thank you Mother Teresa.
What starts out as an innocent bit of elastic that has found it’s way onto the third step down the stairs, has burrowed into my brain and taken up residence. Adopting a personality of it’s own, and using depression and anxiety as it’s tools, that little hairband is now so much more.
Many people would view this errant hair accessory in one of two ways. The first group may note it’s presence, and then pick it up and return it to it’s rightful place. The second might not even notice the band, or if they do, give it little to no consideration. Then there is me. In the last couple days I passed that little devil going up or down the stairs at least half a dozen times. Why not just pick it up? I can’t logically say, though some part of it is due to the overwhelming sense of exhaustion that can fill your day within the confines of depression. I’m not leaving it there because it doesn’t bother me, though I wish that were possible! Just the opposite, really. Instead, it has adopted a voice that starts by telling me I’m being lazy. “Just pick up the band already!!” The escalation is exponential with every pass, and in a matter of hours my inner monologue has shifted from just lazy, to not good enough, to being broken, to being so broken there is no repairing it. I mean, who can’t just lean over and pick it up?! What is wrong with me that I CAN’T. JUST. PICK. IT. UP! Instead, that hairband has become my own 2 inch circle of hell. Then, for no specific reason and without thinking, I grabbed the tie. As I returned it to it’s rightful home, I had a moment of recognition that I had had a “normal” reaction to an errant hairband. Without missing another beat, depression brain countered, and pointed out that that small action had taken days. Days. “And now you are congratulating yourself for acting like an adult?! Way to go. YOU ARE NOT NORMAL.” There is usually no good retort to that statement, not in the middle of a depression cyclone. Today, my lovelies, I want to say this: Don’t let the hairband win. When some insignificant little part of your day starts telling you very significant things about who you are at your core, find other voices. Basically, if a hairband is talking to you, even metaphorically, drown it out! For me, this time, that meant writing about it. Taking it out of my brain and putting it into words. I know I am not the only one with a “hairband’. We all have them, and we can find support if we look for it. This is the perfect place for some good self-care, connecting with someone who knows you and will be that encouraging voice, reaching out - in whatever method feels doable - to your fellow travelers on this tricky path. I’m here. I get it. You are not alone. Let us keep going. Let us do it together. Let us keep mending. Melanie |
AuthorWho is Melanie? Archives
November 2016
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